Friday, February 18, 2005

HOUSEWARMING: A Natural Disaster Part 3

And so we're down to the brass tacks, folks - let us get to the real deal. When you come down to it, there is not one person that can solely take the blame for what happened... everyone involved in the shenanigans detailed herein did their part to either exacerbate or alleviate the problems that had begun to brew hours prior. So here, in the terrifying conclusion of my housewarming disaster, is my raw take on the events that transpired leading up to that heinous voice message from my ex-friend DICKHEAD {name removed}



(to be read after viewing clip)

This sucked. Make no mistake in understanding that for me, as a person, this was a very disturbing experience. I am, however, like a cat in that I know how to land on my feet and not let things rattle me too deeply. It is very regrettable to me that DICKHEAD {name removed} and I fell out this way because I did respect him for his work and the fact that he saved my ass by fulfilling some key FX (namely flagpole, stomach & oven) in my featurette, The Family Tie. I was not happy to hear that he got mugged, especially in my neighborhood, but after living in Greenpoint/Williamsburg for 4 years and nary an altercation, I happen to look at the incident in a somewhat karmic fashion. Also, he was probably staggering along Wythe, which is a scary place to haunt late at night and I would have advised him otherwise except he was taking no advice from anyone upon his departure.

My video regurgitation on this blog is a creative exorcise and a creative exercise in that it helps me to figure stuff out. And yes, I am a showman, so I hope that I have not offended any of the partygoers with their unwitting participation in my vision of housewarming trauma. The truth is always relative. And, the optimist in me looks at the whole thing as a learning experience.

Here are the two key lessons I surmised that will (hopefully) prevent this from happening at any of my future housewarmings...

a) you can't reason with a drunk

b) especially when you're drunk yourself

Oh, and...

c) Don't invite DICKHEAD {name removed}

I promise the next one will be better, folks! I can only hope that I haven't lost anyone's trust that is near and dear to me and you guys are willing to take the risk to venture into the nefarious Greenpoint for a bit of the ol' "good vibe action" at 135G for the next round. Methinks it will kill.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too much!

-Michael Slaboch

ps-'The Tenant' was a nice touch.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Cyn said...

Sounds like a certain "party" had issues.

I'm sure a tell-all book is on the way...

2:24 PM  
Blogger The Fall Guy said...

Generally, I like what you do with your videos. I can appreciate how you go about making them, taking inspiration from the simplest things that go on with and around you and sculpting it into a well-crafted, often hilarious presentation. I think you're a very talented editor, which in most cases makes for a fine storyteller. Knowing a bit about the editing process myself, I can attest to the power of such talent when paired with a wide berth of creative license, but I also understand that with this comes a deep responsibility to use such blessings wisely. Just about any handling of available subject matter is all well and good for works of fiction and absurdity such as the sort you most often produce, but since you present here something heavily edited but purported to be a representation of the actual, manifest truth, you've entered a whole different ball game at which you don't seem particularly well practiced. How easy, how gratifying it must have been to skew and color this story to suit your own purposes-- hyping this part here, glossing over that part there-- having at your disposal such convenient means by which to edit and broadcast it however you see fit. This is the muddy ground where reportage bleeds over into yellow journalism, especially when the reporter's got his own ass to cover; I would caution you to cultivate an awareness of this, considering your dismal ignorance of it in the telling of this particular tale, because to any reasonably intelligent member of your audience (unless the lot of them happen to be cow-eyed, easily manipulated blobs of lukewarm dough) your ass shows through like a Harvest Moon. Is it enlightening? Barely. Is it embarrassing? You bet, and obviously by design. But is it a fair and accurate representation of what really happened? Not in the slightest.

More to the point, you've probably figured out that this is Maz speaking. I've watched patiently as this presentation has unfolded, waiting to see just how far you would go in painting me as Nemesis, and in making worse a thing you could just as easily have dropped. Now that your Trilogy of Tragedy has been broadcast in full for the world to see, do you feel that your indignation has been satisfied, and that you've fully secured your position as the grounded, reasonable adult in the equation? It doesn't make much difference to me how you feel about it on your end, really; to the viewer it all comes off as spoiled, puerile, and not just a little bit masturbatory. Still, I give credit where it's due, and to your credit you haven't failed to include a few statements here that I would consider to some degree expressive of the facts: that the truth is always relative, that there is not one person who can solely take the blame, that your own "memory of the evening and these events can be a little sketchy," that Rahmin didn't think I'd done anything wrong. Bravo for finding it within your heart to make these concessions, however perfunctorily you have made them. Nonetheless, they desiccate thoroughly in light of the overall presentation-- a hodgepodge of denial and equivocating drivel which may indeed make me look as crazy as you intend that the viewer perceive me, but only at the expense of making you look ultimately, sadly small. If you're lucky, your viewers can't see this. I can, because I was there for the whole showdown, and even now you can't seem to fully substantiate your position with suitable evidence-- just like when we were in the midst of it.

Make no mistake-- I am well aware of the part I played in the events in question, but I have, as one might expect, a different opinion of how they unfolded than the one you have shared with us. In fact, over the course of the week I've been composing a rather lengthy rebuttal, with the original intention of posting it online and providing a link to it in this reply, or at least making it available to anyone interested who might directly request it. It would then be up to the reader of anything I may share myself to weigh the testimony of the accused along with that of the accuser and decide then where the actual truth resides-- that is, if anyone out there really is as particularly interested as you are in pursuing this asinine profusion of wasted energy. That's really what this boils down to in the long run anyway, as your amped-up drive to portray me as Scourge Of All That Is Rational while vindicating yourself as the innocent bystander crumbles by its dim finale into nothing but pissing and moaning in your long johns like a smug, bratty little Napoleon... so by this point it seems that the bulk of any response on my part probably only adds to the waste, and the whole thing becomes a stultifying yawn. In any case, the choice is in your hands regarding how much further this muck is to be raked, and this depends on how long and in what manner you wish to drag this issue out.

To tell you the truth, inasmuch as you exercise administrative control over the contents of this blog page, I don't even expect that this reply will remain posted for any other readers to see, much less follow any link to my viewpoints. Such continued "convenient editing" would of course render any rebuttal a moot point by keeping your audience in the dark regarding its existence, not to mention my capability or willingness to provide one in the first place, and would not surprise me at all. It would also no doubt give you great satisfaction, some flutter of power, but only while giving the lie to anything you're trying to prove-- and you know it. It's okay, though, because at the end of the day I may just be withholding anything more I'd like to say for now anyway, pending further developments along the following lines:

Matthew, there is a wiser and more advisable course of action available to you by which to render any retort on my part a moot point, and that would be to end your pursuit of the issue entirely. To be more specific, I draw upon your own words: "I hope that I have not offended any of the partygoers with their unwitting participation in my vision of housewarming trauma." This raises the question of something you as a media professional should know all too well-- that open publication of an individual's image or likeness without his or her express consent, especially in a manner directly intended to smear or embarrass, carries with it certain legal ramifications with which you really should think twice about flirting. This applies pointedly to what you have set forth online regarding me personally by displaying in a deleterious fashion pictures that identify me clearly, as well as my recorded voice, regardless of how deplorable the language used may be. I have nothing to say about whatever ugly image of me you may choose to present to your friends or within the walls of your own home; your personal opinions in the private sector no longer mean a thing to me. However, your choice to air them in this public forum has clearly been made for the purpose of defaming me widely and, as we are both engaged in career pursuits in the same local arena and you undoubtedly refer colleagues to your website, furthermore crosses a line into territory where you are potentially meddling with my livelihood. Take what trivial, spiteful satisfaction you will in having sniped at me this way, but my exhortation to you is to cease and desist. Remove immediately all personal references to me from your site, and stop entirely your pursuit of this matter, or I will have little choice but to pursue it myself on a level to which this issue need not be taken. Already I'll be contacting Support about this, as it is in direct violation of their Terms of Service and may be cause for deletion of your account, but be informed that I am also preparing a letter for my family's attorney, to be mailed immediately.

Lastly, stop your whining-- you're embarrassing yourself as well. When a rogue wave crashes through your apartment and kills 200,000 people along with your pretentiously named cats, then you can complain to us about an "unmitigated natural disaster."

1:18 AM  
Blogger Ezpei said...

You both have issues, but I think that Matt at least is comfortable enough to address them publicly, albeit in a slanted fashion. One could not possibly expect less than such bias, however.

Maz on the other hand is unfortunately a bit deluded. While I must admit that his reply is well-crafted and appears thoughtful, if he were truly the bigger man that he seems to think he is, said reply would not have been necessary and he should have just blown the whole thing off as much as he suggests Matt have done.

Further, no one reads this but a very small group of people and the threats in Maz's reply are both overblown and not founded in legal reality. I understand you're pissed off, Maz, but you're dealing with someone who is clearly a manic and potentially psychotic, so you should probably just move on and try not to get mugged anymore rather than continuing to stoke his fire.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Cyn said...

Ok, I'm really tempted to hear the story, but then to be fair, I'd have to hear both sides. And since I am Matt's sister, it may be difficult for me to retain objectivity.

I'm just sad that something so ugly seemed to come out of nowhere and in essence, ruin a once very positive relationship.

I hope that one day you can both come out from your respective corners and shake hands. It seems that you both worked well together in the past and who knows, perhaps you can again...just trying to offer a little optimism in this hellacious swirl of negativity.

P.S. In response to the last comment, there is a huge difference between being merely "manic" and "potentially psychotic". The latter would suggest someone who poses a real, physical threat of violence to another and that just ain't the case here. I should know, I grew up with the kid. I'm guessing that you didn' put your "fears" to rest.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

Sis - just so you know, Ezpei and I are good friends, so his mention of "potentially psychotic" is meant more in jest than an actual statement. And as far as shaking hands, making up, etc. with DICKHEAD, I have absolutely no interest in walking the line with this guy any further. He was always, truth be told, a tad sketchy in my opinion, and this feeling was reverberated in more than one of my friend's own sense from meeting him. After living life for 36 years and you act like a 12 year old, unless you're a sibling or a long-time friend, I'm not interested in spending my time life-coaching someone to a better way of life. True - we had a prosperous and successful moment of collaboration, but it was business and he was paid in full for his services. In the future, I'm sure I won't be hard-pressed to find someone just as competent in the FX field; my only hope is that they can hold their liquor at the wrap party.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Cyn said...

Sorry - my bad. Just feeling a bit overprotective I s'pose. Don't diss my homies, yo!


12:37 AM  

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